Oh, headache, blocked nose, squinting eyes. And many Ibupain Fortes later.
Last night, I did a bad thing! I perused the menu at a Jani’s (a new little eating spot in J-Bay) and went straight for the Slanghoek Chardonnay – at 14% alcohol content and cheapest on the list – before I even had a thought about what I would be eating. And I ordered the whole bottle. (I always feel that I am getting more booze for my buck than I would with the p/glass option.)
It also didn’t help that this was the first outing to a civilised eatery in a really long while. Budgetary constraints have limited the luxury of eating out for us. Now a culinary treat for us includes an extra slice of plastic cheese and 4 sachets of ketchup. Also, there is usually no breakable crockery involved. But here I was, with my better half and 2 minions, out on the town, sans my slippers and warm-up suit, drinking plonk out of a real glass!
Waitress: “How many glasses would you like for the wine?”
S: “Just one.”
Waitress: (With raised eyebrow) “Oh, I see.”
Now, previously, this action would be all in a day’s work for me. In fact, the buzz in my brain would only start up after 2 bottles. But I have been resisting Satan’s gargling juice for a good few months now. And, all of a sudden, I am now a cheap date – had to carefully manoeuvre down the restaurant stairs, bag of rib bones in one hand, head in the other.
Got home and decided not to take any chances. Took all my crazy pills and one or two other tried and trusted ‘remedies’, sprayed my cushion full of lavender spray that was that.
2am: Wake up with a bit of a sour burp taste in my mouth. Find some Rennie’s in the cupboard. Munch about 4. Wee. Decide to take a couple of headache tabs. Rather safe than sorry. Fanus (cat) comes for a sip of water. He ONLY drinks straight from the tap. While he is lapping, I notice 2 of those horrid little red ticks on his ear. Grab him in a rugby ball grip, find tweezers (make mental note never to use this pair for anything related to my face) and after about 10 attempts, manage to get the buggers off. Although cat now has bald patch on his ear and I have not seen him since.
5am: Wake up with well-developed headache, and urgent wee. Nostrils seriously blocked – white wine has always had this effect on me. More tabs, although I know this will help jack.
10.24am: My sister and twins (who reside 80km’s away) bounce into room, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I try to look like I have been awake for a while. Maximum noise pollution now occurring throughout the entire household. Twins consuming sugar per spoonful directly from the bowl and slathering their hands in my moisturiser (They are boys).
Breakfast, washing, dogs, delivery of trailers, pink lipstick, a stint of paddle-skiing (I kid you not! But luckily I was just present to observe), wet dogs, dog pooh in the bakkie, dud lunch, a game of UNO (which I managed to worm out of), sour losers, more Top Gear repeats, sewing buttons onto school shirts – again, glaring afternoon sun, tumble-drying, shopping lists, sorting through Christmas decorations and a couple more headache tablets.
I have to pretend I am so OK. There would be no mercy for my brain pain, as it was caused by my own actions.