Sorry – this one is for the voluptuous dolls…


Have a look, when you are bored, at the ramblings of Countesskaz, on her blog – The Fat Diaries

As is inevitable, when you are carrying a kilo or two, or twenty, the limited choice of suitable attire for the womanly curves, becomes a point of discussion. This happens seasonally, sometimes even monthly – depending on the hormones, Woollies sales, boudoir-bingo, the direction of the wind and unasked for input by catty frenemies.

And, unfortunately, the search for sexy and fashionable clothing to flatter the likes of me and about 60% of ladies out there is an extremely negative, uninspiring and frustrating experience.

What really gets my goat, and obviously that of the aunty in the Fat Diaries, is that retail institutions, like Donna Claire, Renè Taylor and Ol’ Penny C (is she still even alive?), who are supposed to have their fingers on the podgy pulse of fashion, can get it so very wrong!!

My main arse-itch is when they use the wrong freaking fabric for the style of clothing and the size of the customer! Like stretchy crimpaline – and where we stay – 40 deg in summer is quite achievable, so although you may look uber hot, you smell uber stinky. Or even worse, good and gaudy georgette. (Sis D is a clothing designer, sometimes of ill-repute, but mostly jacked up and in demand – so I am in the know when it comes to fabrics that are not comfortable to wear.) With these choices, you will hit the smell-o-meter at pickled fish, round about 10am in the morning.

And there is definitely a sector of the market that they are not catering for. If you are 20 – skinny jeans that pinch your muffin tops are still acceptable. And since your fat rolls are still young, it seems OK that they are hugged by a beige jersey-cloth that ladders if you just look at it skeef. If you are 60 – looking like Vonkeldame, Matrone Netta Nortje or Charmaine, from, with their billowing floral georgette and chiffon NG church blouses, are fine. (Speaking of which, they really need to update these ladies’ wardrobes – getting sick of the Monday blouse with red roses, the Tuesday blouse with lilac swirls, the Wednesday blouse with green leaves, the …)

But what about  us – the (usually) mommies, 30-40-ish something, running around, trying to earn a living, raise kids and needing to look sexy at least once in a while? This may explain why I have spent a disproportionately large amount of winter in my choc brown velour ‘warm-up’ suit. No, really. Although, very little warming up was done. In fact – I did not even break a sweat.

And yes, down here along the coast, we have a couple of stores, like ‘Out the Blue’, etc., that cater for the bigger aunties – but at a price. And there is something disconcerting about the clothing ranges from these stores, in that it is like wearing a uniform. Everyone can see where you bought your outfit (very mixy and matchy) – so it is almost like an army of ‘fudgy females’ who have paid to be branded and look the same. And paid they have. It is as if you are forfeiting your individuality and surrendering to a certain look.

There are apparently some nice online stores where one can buy really nice clothing (see http://www.captive8.co.za ) – I am going to seriously look into this option. I wonder if they accept e-bucks?

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2 thoughts on “Sorry – this one is for the voluptuous dolls…

    • Ta, man. I am trying to post more than once a week. But funny how when you know you have to do something, you suddenly can’t think of something worthy to say, or you are to busy, or horror of horrors, you are just damn idle!! But I appreciate the input of you, my fan!!

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