Working like a hound dog.

I cannot begin to explain to you how this new little job of mine has steam-rollered me into submission.

I am surviving from day-to-day – and still feel like a right twot.

Get home, and all I want to do, is drink and sleep. Today – someone called me ‘Chardonnay Verwey.’ Yes – only funny if you are South African and have watched the movie, ‘Vaatjie sien sy gat.’

Worst is – the aunty who has been training me, is leaving tomorrow. But fear not, I have her phone no. on speed-dial.

Did first bit of Christmas shopping today – 5 gifts in 5 minutes.

This weekend, I shall be making the Merry, baking the Christmas cookies, trying to strangle the Tree with baubles and string lights, drinking the cough syryp; and attempting to get as many 3 for the price of 2 specials at Clicks.

Oh – and there is the case of the ‘Hello Kitty’ cake for Monday. Sunday’s worry.

It is raining again. Mainly because Austin, our international gardener of mys-Tree, washed the car AND all three dogs. Damn, he is good.

Fa-la-la-la-la…. La-la-la-la.

Green eggs and Spam.

“This product is really amazing, fits your mind nicely, comfortable, it doesn’t provide headache since the device squeezes your mind too tight.”

This little gem popped up in my spam queue. Talk about ‘Eloquently Wasted!’

10 000 Cupcake sprinkles to the first one who guesses what product was being punted ..

Is it:

1) A mind-altering drug;

2) Headache tablets;

3) A wig;

4) An Aerobics sweatband (think ‘Fame’);

5) A swimming cap;

6) A condom;

7) An eight-year-old’s Alice band;

8) sunglasses or bi-focals;

9) A turkey – with all the trimmings;

10) A mullet (from Boksburg or Virginia – depending on what side of the pond you stay…);

11) One of those fishing headlight thingies;

12) A beret (Juju – or Querva-style, once again depending on which side of the pond you stay…);

13) A bridal veil or Burka (once again … the whole pond thing …);

14) Rambo’s red headband;

15) A Princess crown from Toddlers ‘n Tiara’s;

16) A pet Boa constrictor;

17) Your underpants – depending on your age and sobrierty;

18) Anti inflammatories;

19) Hello Kitty hairclips; or ….

20) Headphones. (Hint, hint.)

Ah, the mystery and promiscuity of the Engrish tongue.