No. Really. I had delusions of grandeur. I thought that companies would be falling over their hampers of freebie products to sign up for advertising space on my extremely hilarious and ever popular blog. I was especially waiting, with wino breath, for an offer from a luxurious B&B in Franschoek (OK – at the very least, a 2 star motel on the N2). I have so been dying for a little vakay, a mini-break – if you will, in that area. I can think of nothing better than being surrounded by wine in all it’s processes: from infancy on the vines, through to it’s last, shimmering moments, breathing in a glass, alongside my crusty ciabatta, with a ripe brie and green figs on the side……. Mmmmm.
But I digress … back to blogging and being broke. They go hand-in-hand, it seems. Had a little pow-wow with Christine, the writer of a very funny blog in the US of A: Texana’s Kitchen . And I was delighted to find out that she actually earns money according to the hits on her site.
Then, my delight turned to horror, when she told me how much moola she was fortunate to earn … Any guesses?!?! Hmmmm. Well, it certainly would not be enough to put in the new kitchen that I have desired for the past few years. In fact, I would be lucky to buy enough milk to douse my Corn Flakes with tomorrow. Yes. Think cents. Not Dollars, not Euro’s, not Pounds … and most definitely not Ronts!
Eeek! The frustration.
And, I might add, this Christine, works on her blog a helluva lot. We are talking 2.5-3 hours per day, just for networking – i.e. finding other blogs to like, and then hoping that they will like you back. Oh, and I would like to add that she actually has a real job, in real life, too. Plus, she is an avid cook and tests out recipes, etc., in her kitchen. There is substantial photo-taking. Then, she posts said recipes, as well as comments and ancedotes and all the other frilly stuff to fluff out the blog. The cherry on top, is that she is still funny.
Damn, I am exhausted from just jotting down the previous paragraph.
This also makes me ponder the whole reason for blogging? When does it go from being an enjoyable activity – a way to vent, meditate, praise, post and write for fun – to a crazed pressure-pit ? All of a sudden, there is (usually) self-induced anxiety and panic, which is intensified if you are slightly obsessive compulsive.
I must post, I must post more than once a day. I must hunt for new fans. I must visit and like hundreds of normally-boring people’s blogspots. Oh shit, what happens if no one likes me? What happens if I am not funny enough? What happens, if God forbid, I find an exotic flower growing in my unruly garden, and for no reason whatsoever, I stroke it’s velvety purple petals and an allergic reaction causes my fingers swell up, and I can’t tap out a post tomorrow? The horror!
I also wonder about this whole fishing for ‘likes’ and ‘hits’, thing. Yes, you do get an ego-boost when you have a torrent of new followers. But, are these people actually reading what you are writing, or are they, too, just adding to their fan base? It is like a glorified blogosphere chain mail. I admit that I cannot get through all the new posts and comments notifications that come into my mail box on a daily basis. And I only follow a handful of blithering bloggers. Also, how do I admit to ‘Switters’ that I have no interest, whatsoever, in the fish he caught, but that I just want his hit?
All of this, and no pay.