Green eggs and Spam.


“This product is really amazing, fits your mind nicely, comfortable, it doesn’t provide headache since the device squeezes your mind too tight.”

This little gem popped up in my spam queue. Talk about ‘Eloquently Wasted!’

10 000 Cupcake sprinkles to the first one who guesses what product was being punted ..

Is it:

1) A mind-altering drug;

2) Headache tablets;

3) A wig;

4) An Aerobics sweatband (think ‘Fame’);

5) A swimming cap;

6) A condom;

7) An eight-year-old’s Alice band;

8) sunglasses or bi-focals;

9) A turkey – with all the trimmings;

10) A mullet (from Boksburg or Virginia – depending on what side of the pond you stay…);

11) One of those fishing headlight thingies;

12) A beret (Juju – or Querva-style, once again depending on which side of the pond you stay…);

13) A bridal veil or Burka (once again … the whole pond thing …);

14) Rambo’s red headband;

15) A Princess crown from Toddlers ‘n Tiara’s;

16) A pet Boa constrictor;

17) Your underpants – depending on your age and sobrierty;

18) Anti inflammatories;

19) Hello Kitty hairclips; or ….

20) Headphones. (Hint, hint.)

Ah, the mystery and promiscuity of the Engrish tongue.